I have been thinking of writing a blog for a while now so that I can have my stupid thoughts known. But never could I gather the motivation myself to do so. But this time thanks to Rahul Golwalkar and Bhak Sala, I am finally starting to write it. My context comes from a TV- Talk show "Satyamev Jayate" which is an awareness programme on the evils of society. A few of the people instead of being ashamed of what they did and correct themselves( strictly my point of view here) instead started justifying themselves and this tipped me off.
Ok now enough of my babbling and here is the context from "Bhak Sala"
We support Satyamev Jayate, but the other perspective can't be ignored. Angry mail sent by Nishitha Singh on behalf of 'aam aadmi'
" I am a middle class man who earns enough to support his family. We live in a society and have quite a reputation in our peer group. My wife was pregnant a few days back. we determined the sex of the child and when we found that it was a girl, we aborted it. We live in a society where girls get raped everyday and the same girl gets bad name.What if my daughter had to go through such violence ? What if my daughter became promiscuous and gave bad name to the family. With so much liability coming through a daughter, she is not even going to earn like a son and even if she does, she is not going to give back to us. I am not ready to go through that turmoil of arranging dowry and live in constant pressure from the groom's side.. \
Our reasons are " We need to have our baby so someone is there to inherit the property after we are gone" or " Someone has to take the family name further"
While our Reasons should be" i want a baby because I feel a need of one now"or "I love you so much that i want to have OUR kids"
" I am that husband who took dowry from my wife before marrying her. I don't think that I have done anything wrong. As boys we have been taught from childhood to earn well and we have been brought up in constant pressure. I think girls still know that they are going to get married and all their expenses can be taken care of by their husbands. Now, if i worked day in and out so that a good girl gets to marry me, can't I ask for dowry as I am going to take care of her for the rest of our lives. This is an arranged marriage and I don't think I would want to take a stranger's burden on my head for free. Moreover, tomorrow if my sister gets married, even I will have to give dowry.
What does Aamir know ? He married whoever he wanted to.. he did not have the constant pressure from the family to abide by him.. He doesn't have to survive in a society like ours"
Now, a few doctors will protest , why are fingers always pointed towards doctors and not any other profession ? Because, its health we are talking about.. You can still survive without electricity, flyover or a facebook, you cannot survive in diarrhoea or high fever for long.
If I think about it, the root of the problem is our 'Reasons'. The decisions we took in our lives weren't wrong, but the reasons behind those decisions were wrong. And its not an individuals problems, its the society's problem, where we breed in.
Ok now enough of my babbling and here is the context from "Bhak Sala"
We support Satyamev Jayate, but the other perspective can't be ignored. Angry mail sent by Nishitha Singh on behalf of 'aam aadmi'
" I am a middle class man who earns enough to support his family. We live in a society and have quite a reputation in our peer group. My wife was pregnant a few days back. we determined the sex of the child and when we found that it was a girl, we aborted it. We live in a society where girls get raped everyday and the same girl gets bad name.What if my daughter had to go through such violence ? What if my daughter became promiscuous and gave bad name to the family. With so much liability coming through a daughter, she is not even going to earn like a son and even if she does, she is not going to give back to us. I am not ready to go through that turmoil of arranging dowry and live in constant pressure from the groom's side.. \
What does Aamir know ? its very easy to sit in a talk show and talk about problems.. He doesn't have to survive in a society like ours "
Our reasons are " We need to have our baby so someone is there to inherit the property after we are gone" or " Someone has to take the family name further" While our Reasons should be" i want a baby because I feel a need of one now"or "I love you so much that i want to have OUR kids"
My Reply and strictly my opinion.
"We live in a society and have quite a reputation in our peer group." If this is the society in which he is living where foeticide of any kind and in particular female foeticide(especially in a country where female is considered an incarnation of goddess) is considered apt is a rotten society and there is no point in considering their thoughts..... he is just rotten..... and how dare he openly admits that he has gone for a sex determination and got it aborted based on gender. These people should be publicly castrated.
"We live in a society where girls get raped everyday and the same girl gets bad name.What if my daughter had to go through such violence ? What if my daughter became promiscuous and gave bad name to the family."
I would say what if your son was the rapist and what if he turns out gay. Is that fine? You can always be assuming things. If everybody thinks like you, you would be forcing your son to be gay and a rapist eventually. Bloody @$$hole.
"she is not even going to earn like a son and even if she does, she is not going to give back to us."
What is the guarantee that your son would earn better than your daughter? And there are lot of girls out there when given the same treatment as men have competed and in fact exceeded men on occasions. And what hope do you have that your son would not ditch you during your old age?
"I am not ready to go through that turmoil of arranging dowry and live in constant pressure from the groom's side"
You should never have married if you ask me.
"We live in a society where girls get raped everyday and the same girl gets bad name.What if my daughter had to go through such violence ? What if my daughter became promiscuous and gave bad name to the family."
I would say what if your son was the rapist and what if he turns out gay. Is that fine? You can always be assuming things. If everybody thinks like you, you would be forcing your son to be gay and a rapist eventually. Bloody @$$hole.
"she is not even going to earn like a son and even if she does, she is not going to give back to us."
What is the guarantee that your son would earn better than your daughter? And there are lot of girls out there when given the same treatment as men have competed and in fact exceeded men on occasions. And what hope do you have that your son would not ditch you during your old age?
"I am not ready to go through that turmoil of arranging dowry and live in constant pressure from the groom's side"
You should never have married if you ask me.
" I am that husband who took dowry from my wife before marrying her. I don't think that I have done anything wrong. As boys we have been taught from childhood to earn well and we have been brought up in constant pressure. I think girls still know that they are going to get married and all their expenses can be taken care of by their husbands. Now, if i worked day in and out so that a good girl gets to marry me, can't I ask for dowry as I am going to take care of her for the rest of our lives. This is an arranged marriage and I don't think I would want to take a stranger's burden on my head for free. Moreover, tomorrow if my sister gets married, even I will have to give dowry.
What does Aamir know ? He married whoever he wanted to.. he did not have the constant pressure from the family to abide by him.. He doesn't have to survive in a society like ours"
Our reasons are" I think I have reached the right age and position to get married.. Any girl would marry me now ."
While our Reasons should be " I need a companionship in life and I have to find a girl who is compatible with me and who understands me " or " here is the guy/girl I love and I know , I want to spend my whole life with him/her"
"Now,
if i worked day in and out so that a good girl gets to marry me, can't I
ask for dowry as I am going to take care of her for the rest of our
lives. "
Bloody
idiot you should have been billed by your mom from your birth for all
the services she has done to you. You are so incompetent that you want
your wife's expenses to be borne by her family? Why do you want to marry
in the first place? And what about all the work she does once she comes
to your home? All the free services she does to your family? You are no
better than a whore who sells herself for money.
We have an ancient saying "Never ask a man's salary or women's age" we come from a society where men were considered to be the meal providers of the family(in fact this was the norm almost across the globe) but no where is dowry as prominent as in India, and it is a crime to pester for it. Taking dowry when given in good will cannot be denied as the parents of the girl might want their girl to be happy..... but pestering them and becoming a burden is not right.
" I am a doctor.. Since childhood I was brilliant in studies and have been a topper throughout. when time came to choose my career path, I chose medicine as the best minds go in that field. I didn't have much choice anyway as parents had their expectations set. After more than 10 years of rigorous studying and internship, today I am a qualified doctor. Medical profession is more taxing than any other profession then why can't we make money out of it. After such hardwork if i am asked to only serve the humanity and not make money of my own, I am not ready for that.
What does Aamir know ? He has not gone through what i have for a decade . He doesn't know what does it take to be a doctor in this country. Mr. Aamir Khan first get your facts right and then say something"
Our reasons are : "I want to become a doctor because I am extremely bright and bright people become doctors " While the reason should be " i feel an urge to give back to my people" or " I feel passionate about reaching to the interiors where there are no health facilities."
"Funny isn't it, the way people justify themselves ? Doctors are active on facebook and that is why we can see so many comments, statuses, pictures saying "What does Aamir know ?", but yes there must be people who would be feeling the same on those topics which hit you hard in the previous episodes. We do tend to forget that there are two sides of a coin. Aamir khan is doing a great job with the stature that he got working for all those years. He would have been fine making romantic movies like the chopras, but he chose the other way.
"Before writing further I would like to clarify that both my parents are doctors in eastern UP (The same part which is famous for its goons beating up the doctors). I have seen how vulnerable doctors get in front of the society even for a very small human mistake of theirs. But, I have also seen how much patients admire the doctors who they trust. Yes that doctor is no one less than God to them. My parents hate taking offs .. 1. Because they love their work . 2. They realise how dependent these patients are on them.
But living so close to doctors fraternity I know what kind of doctors exist in the society. I know people who have done surgeries only to earn some more money, I know people who write extra medicines and tests so that they could earn a few thousands more. "
My favourite.... the person says that he(assuming it was a male) is "Since childhood I was brilliant in studies and have been a topper throughout." Firstly what category is he topper of??? School?? District??? State?? Nation??? what ever he was... his teachers did a poor job of not inflicting values of any kind into this fellow.
C.S Lewis once said "Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil" I find it happening all around us.
And ya when did Brilliance=Money???
He should have chosen Research if he was in fact brilliant and made a name for him or vie for Nobel prize if he thinks he is really brilliant... And no where was doctors not asked to make money as was shown from the example of "Narayana Hrudayala" but ya falsely ripping of patients with useless tests and medicines is a breach of the oath taken by him.
C.S Lewis once said "Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil" I find it happening all around us.
And ya when did Brilliance=Money???
He should have chosen Research if he was in fact brilliant and made a name for him or vie for Nobel prize if he thinks he is really brilliant... And no where was doctors not asked to make money as was shown from the example of "Narayana Hrudayala" but ya falsely ripping of patients with useless tests and medicines is a breach of the oath taken by him.
"Funny isn't it, the way people justify themselves ? Doctors are active on facebook and that is why we can see so many comments, statuses, pictures saying "What does Aamir know ?", but yes there must be people who would be feeling the same on those topics which hit you hard in the previous episodes. We do tend to forget that there are two sides of a coin. Aamir khan is doing a great job with the stature that he got working for all those years. He would have been fine making romantic movies like the chopras, but he chose the other way.
"Before writing further I would like to clarify that both my parents are doctors in eastern UP (The same part which is famous for its goons beating up the doctors). I have seen how vulnerable doctors get in front of the society even for a very small human mistake of theirs. But, I have also seen how much patients admire the doctors who they trust. Yes that doctor is no one less than God to them. My parents hate taking offs .. 1. Because they love their work . 2. They realise how dependent these patients are on them.
But living so close to doctors fraternity I know what kind of doctors exist in the society. I know people who have done surgeries only to earn some more money, I know people who write extra medicines and tests so that they could earn a few thousands more. "
Now, a few doctors will protest , why are fingers always pointed towards doctors and not any other profession ? Because, its health we are talking about.. You can still survive without electricity, flyover or a facebook, you cannot survive in diarrhoea or high fever for long.
If I think about it, the root of the problem is our 'Reasons'. The decisions we took in our lives weren't wrong, but the reasons behind those decisions were wrong. And its not an individuals problems, its the society's problem, where we breed in.
The wrong reasons become dangerous. I always thought before an MBA interview that why do they ask "Why MBA" all the time when the answer is so obvious.!
But the fact is, it is the most important question, because this world is already very bad and we don't want to make it worse."
But the fact is, it is the most important question, because this world is already very bad and we don't want to make it worse."
- Bhak Sala
All the content out here is not my own. The Italicised part was from "Bhak Sala", but thought it added a few other points than my own and which I concur with.
